Catching a Player

Relationships

Surviving the Blame Game

Players know what they are doing, but their partners are often in the dark. When their cheating is discovered, they have their excuses ready. Rather than take responsibility for their own actions, many of them have found attacking their partner is the easy way to shift the blame. These attacks are often emotionally debilitating, and a partner already upset has little or no recourse when told they deserved the behaviour due to their own lack as a partner. Surviving the blame game can take time, but coming out ahead can make a person realise they are a strong person worthy of love.

The emotional turmoil caused by a partner cheating can bring down even the strongest person because they have invested their feelings deeply into a relationship. Their trust has been betrayed, and they suddenly find their world has no more security. It is at this point they are most vulnerable, and an experienced player knows it is the best time to launch a devastating attack.

Friends and family often do not understand why it takes so long to recover from this type of betrayal, so their support often wanes quickly. They expect the injured partner to move on to a new relationship within a few months, but it can take several years before they are ready to face dating once again. This part of the situation can reinforce the personal attacks the player originally launched when discovered, and they can make recovery a more difficult path.

To survive emotionally, the injured partner must gather their strength so they can look at the situation rationally. Leaving behind their hurt feelings, they could eventually be able to understand nothing they did or said caused their partner to cheat. Once they have reached this level of understanding, they are finally ready to move on to find the loving and trusting person they truly deserve.